They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
