She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
