How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
it was like having sex with a tree stump
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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