Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
