Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
