And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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