she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
