after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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