The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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