Please, let me fuck your mom
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He called his prostate his "boner button".
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
