Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
