After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
