My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
