We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
