..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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