i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Randomize
