It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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