I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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