Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
