My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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