This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
