Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize