i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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