i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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