my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
