I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
