Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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