I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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