The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
