You made me cry and you don't even care
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
