If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
