Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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