Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize
