is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
