i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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