He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I intend to get homeless drunk
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
