i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
