Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize