Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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