I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
