So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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