Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
