i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
