The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
