you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
