If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
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