I need help removing her.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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