Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
