I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
he fucked my hip out of place.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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