You were right. It hurts to walk today.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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