Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
We are two peas in an std pod
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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