we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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