yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
