Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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