lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
