I want to stick my p in your. b.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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