**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize