can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Randomize
