My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
