I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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