if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
